Sex and Poo – Breaking the Taboo 😳

Alright, ladies – let’s talk about the things no one warns you about in menopause.

We all hear about the hot flushes, brain fog, and mood swings, but what about the things we feel too embarrassed to say out loud?

Yep, I’m talking about sex and poo – because let’s be real, they’re both a massive part of life, and menopause can turn them upside down.

So, grab a cuppa (or something stronger), and let’s break down the barriers on two of the most unspoken menopause struggles: constipation and intimacy.

Who Am I to Talk About This?

You might be wondering, who’s this woman openly chatting about constipation and sex like it’s the weather?

Well, let’s just say menopause became my unexpected life’s work.

I spent over 20 years in the corporate world, balancing high-pressure roles with my passion for women’s health and fitness.

I became a qualified adult educator, a Level 3 Personal Trainer, and even ran my own women’s and children’s fitness centre specialising in obesity and strength training.

At 45, I took up boxing (because why not?) and later became a menopause educator and wellbeing coach, focusing on real, practical solutions for women navigating this transition.

But my real journey started in 2019, just as I was about to move to Spain. I went for a routine check-up and was casually told, "You're in menopause." My response? "The WHAT?"

Cue Covid, Brexit, and a nine-week lockdown in Spain—the perfect storm that led me to deep dive into menopause research. But I didn’t stop at just understanding my own symptoms—I wanted to help other women get the knowledge and support they deserve.

Now, I write for Menopause Matters Magazine, have spoken at Parliament as a guest of Menopause Mandate, and regularly appear in media interviews, TV programs, and expert panels across Jersey, Spain, and Gibraltar, making sure menopause is a conversation we have out loud, not behind closed doors.

My work spans many offshore and crown dependencies, helping women across different backgrounds understand their bodies, get the right support, and demand better care.

Because, let’s face it—we’ve put up with this nonsense in silence for too long.

Let’s Talk Poo – Because No One Else Will!

My Story: The Day My Gut Gave Up

Picture this: I’ve always been a regular kind of gal (if you know what I mean). But menopause hit, and suddenly, my digestive system seemed to pack up and leave.

I was drinking my usual water, eating my usual foods, but… nothing was moving. Days went by, and when it finally did happen, let’s just say childbirth felt easier.

Then came the real horror—actual bleeding. And not the kind you expect. Menopause was making my gut work against me.

Why Menopause Messes with Your Gut

• Oestrogen helps keep your digestive system moving. When it drops, your gut slows down.
• Dehydration makes things worse. If you’re not drinking enough, expect a painful situation.
• Fibre isn’t enough if you’re not hydrating. It just sits there like an unwanted guest, making things even harder (literally).

Trudi’s Top Tips for Keeping Things Moving

• Water, water, water. Don’t wait until you’re thirsty—sip throughout the day.
• Magnesium is your friend. It helps relax the muscles in your gut and encourages movement.
• Move your body. A short walk after meals can work wonders.
• Avoid too much caffeine. Yes, I know—we all love our morning coffee, but too much can dehydrate you and make constipation worse.
• Talk to Your Doctor. If it’s really bad, ask about HRT – it can help restore gut function.
  
  

Sex – Or the Lack of It!

My Story: The Mystery of the Vanishing Libido

Before menopause, I never gave my vagina much thought. It was just there, doing its job.

Then, one day, out of nowhere – burning, itching, soreness. It felt like the worst bout of thrush ever – except it wasn’t thrush, it was vaginal atrophy (I know, the name is awful!).

It wasn’t just a “not tonight, love” situation—it was a “you could offer me a five-star spa weekend with Idris Elba and I’d still rather stay home in my pyjamas” situation.

Declining oestrogen leads to thinning of vaginal tissues, making everything dry, fragile, and uncomfortable.

Sex had gone from fun to full-blown torture thanks to vaginal dryness, soreness, and that delightful burning sensation that made me want to sit in a tub of ice.

What No One Tells You About Menopause & Sex

• Your vulva can become red, sore, and inflamed.
• Even loose clothing can feel unbearable.
• Intercourse can feel like broken glass.

And if you work in a uniformed job like nursing, you can’t exactly rock up to work in a flowy skirt with no knickers on for relief (though wouldn’t that be nice?).

What Helped Me?

• GINA to the rescue! This over-the-counter vaginal oestrogen treatment changed my life. Yes, it’s called GINA – VaGINA. Coincidence? I think not!
• Doctor-prescribed Estradiol 1% cream. A literal lifesaver.
• Hydration, hydration, hydration! (Notice a theme here?)
• Pelvic Floor Exercises – Strengthening these muscles can improve sensation and even make orgasms better (yes, please!).
• Testosterone—yes, women need it too. If your libido is still MIA after sorting out estrogen, talk to your doctor about testosterone therapy.
  
  

Final Thoughts – Don’t Suffer in Silence

Ladies, menopause affects every part of your body—including the bits we don’t talk about. But knowledge is power, and the more we share, the less isolated we feel.

If you’re struggling with constipation, vaginal dryness, or a disappearing sex drive, don’t just put up with it.

There is help out there, you are NOT alone, and together, we can break the taboos and take back control of our bodies—one conversation at a time.

If you need help, reach out – whether to a friend, a doctor, or even to me!

Now, let’s go forth and talk about sex and poo—because someone has to! 💬❤️